Mother of convicted Dros rapist Nicholas Ninow, has recently claimed to accept partial responsibility for her son’s actions because of the dysfunctional home environment which she perpetuated.
According to news reports, Chantelle Ninow also said that she regretted not helping her son overcome his debilitating drug addiction.
A number of mothers of men convicted with the same crime may not have publicly voiced out their ‘involvement’ or lamented the devastating consequences rape accusations or convictions have had on their sons’ lives, but we believe that it is every mother’s responsibility to teach their sons about the consequences of rape or any other crime for that matter.
We have put together a few tips on how you can help your son grow up with a ‘no to rape mentality’.
Do not force your son to hug or kiss someone.
It is common behavior for parents to think they mean well by instructing their children to kiss or hug a relative or a friend without considering whether their children are comfortable with doing it. This may send the dangerous message that consent can be disregarded.
Ask your children if they want to touch and respect their decision. As a result, they will know at an early age that consent matters.
Teach your sons about gender equality.
When children help around the house, avoid allocating chores on the basis of gender. Boys and girls should help equally with doing the dishes, washing the car, watering the garden, hanging up the laundry, or whatever else needs to be done around the house. This will stop boys from seeing certain tasks as beneath them, or from seeing women as incapable.
Do not teach your children that boys hit them because they like them.
It is important to teach your children early that hitting someone to get their attention is never okay and it’s undeniably not the right way to show someone that you like them. Parents who use the phrase, “He’s behaving like that because he likes you” only support the idea that one needs to suffer for love and that it is okay to hurt others even when you love them.
Don’t sexualize your son’s friendships.
If your son happens to have a friend who is a girl, avoid instantly talking about a “girlfriend” or acting as if the friendship is somehow unusual. Encourage varied friendships as a healthy acknowledgment that we are all just people, and that we can like people without having to attach our interests to gender or sexual attraction.
Wouldn’t it be amazing, if for 16 days, there was no rape, no child abuse, and no case of a beaten-up woman, no woman killed and stashed somewhere like garbage?
Join Men Against Rape in re-declaring a truce on no violence against women and children and making it a permanent one.
We strongly believe that men are critical partners in the fight against abuse of women and children. Men Against Rape encourages men and boys to be vocal about abuse.
Calls have been made for rapists to stop the act, campaigns have been held with the hope that men who commit rape can change their ways but the social ill rate keeps escalating.
When will it end? Read the poem below by Skinny_Cow to have an idea of how rape victims are affected by the injustice.
I think back to when it happened,
think back to that awful day.
The day when it all happened,
the day he took “it” away.
Fighting. Yelling. Crying.
It didn’t matter how loud I screamed.
Nobody came to help me.
Nobody came to set me free.
I still dream of running,
of trying to break away.
Of feeling him catch me,
every damn day.
I see him in the shadows,
even while I’m at home.
I close my eyes and pray he’s gone,
only then I can’t help but feel him.
To this day I feel him,
his tight grip on my wrists,
The pressure of his body
as I tried to resist.
He continued to thrust away,
as I fought and yelled and cried.
It didn’t matter how loud I screamed,
Nobody came to help me.
Nobody came to set me free.
How about declaring a truce on violence against women and children, and finally make it an everlasting one?
With 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence approaching themed “Count me in”, Men Against Rape echoes the theme and we want to be a voice that propels action. It would be remarkable if men, real men, can come out in numbers and cause a stir against the gender-based violence and the children abuse plight.
Imagine the level of freedom women and children would delight in if there was no rape, no child abuse. Sounds like a fantasy? Actually it is well within their rights to walk from place to place freely, without any fear of intimidation or anything like that.
This year South Africa will be taking part in the global campaign, which runs from 25 November until 10 December, for the 18th time. However, after all these years the question still remains, ‘When will the evil stops?’
Men Against Rape is greatly troubled by the alarming rate at which abuse against women and children keeps on intensifying and with an aim to get men actively involved in breaking the silence, the organisation has a number of in-house campaigns scheduled for all the 16 Days.
Let’s become a voice that drives action!
In a terrifying situation where you realize that you are being followed, harassed or ambushed, an opportunity to stop and make a phone call or send a text message and GPS location may in most cases be impossible. For this unfortunate reason, Men Against Rape is launching a free mobile application for all South Africans to download.
Facing and experiencing crime is something almost everyone, especially women, will deal with at least once in their lifetime. As a matter of fact, South Africa is becoming an increasingly unsafe place for women to live in.
The Crime Against Women in South Africa Report by Statistics SA shows that femicide (the murder of women on the basis of their gender) is 5 times higher than the global average. This means that in South Africa, women are 5 times more likely to be killed due to gender-based violence committed by men. This is an alarming fact!
Displeased with the statistics of women and children abuse in the country, Men Against Rape sturdily hopes the app will help fight the scourge of the abuse scourge in our country and possibly save lives. This app allows users to easily and quickly notify police, security companies and selected family and friends.
The functionality built-in this app has been developed to mitigate factors like no data and limited access to the phone. Besides the emergency locator function, this app will also offer users relevant information, support, and events happening around you to participate in.
In case of emergency, shake your phone and a message will be sent to specific contacts saved as emergency contacts on your phone and help will be on the way!
Founded in 2011, Men Against Rape is an action group rallying up the support to save lives and protect women.
Stay tuned to our Facebook page for the upcoming 16 Days of Activism in house campaigns.
Picture yourself walking your dog or just relishing in a pre-sunset lazy walk when arms suddenly clamp around your waist, sending a shiver to your whole body?
Do you know what you would do?
It is a disheartening but true fact that a lot of women feel terrified when walking the streets alone at night, or worse, during the day. Nowadays, women are forced to walk around gripping their belongings while fearing for their lives at the same time.
In the distressing moment that you find yourself confronted by someone who might cause you harm, knowing how to defend yourself might radically save your life and you may afford you ample time to get away to safety.
Learning self-defense is a wise move for women of all ages as women trained in self-defense find themselves more confident in their ability to confront undesirable attention.
In this imperfect age where watching your back at all times is becoming a norm, self-defense is a must for every person, especially women who usually fall target of culprits. Self-defense for women is one of those skills all women should have in order for them to feel empowered, alert and well-informed.
There is somewhat a number of dynamics involved when attempting to defend yourself, which in most cases involves unarmed physical self-defense. The most important part which can be challenging is that this type of defense requires someone to know exactly how to react and stand their ground and instinct alone may not be enough to succor a victim get away unharmed.
For this reason, Men Against Rape, together with Eskilz College is offering 30 ladies and girls in the Johannesburg area an opportunity to get trained and acquire skills to defend themselves if they find themselves cornered by invaders aiming to harm them. The free one hour self-defense course will be presented on the 9th of November from 10:00 till 11:00.
Interested? Please contact Rufaro on email@example.com alternatively phone her on 010 030 0080