June 2020
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Break The Silence

Mother of convicted Dros rapist Nicholas Ninow, has recently claimed to accept partial responsibility for her son’s actions because of the dysfunctional home environment which she perpetuated.

 

According to news reports, Chantelle Ninow also said that she regretted not helping her son overcome his debilitating drug addiction.

 

A number of  mothers of men convicted with the same crime may not have publicly voiced out their ‘involvement’ or lamented the devastating consequences rape accusations or convictions  have had on their sons’ lives, but we believe that it is every mother’s responsibility to teach their sons about the consequences of rape or any other crime for that matter.

 

We have put together a few tips on how you can help your son grow up with a ‘no to rape mentality’.

 

Do not force your son to hug or kiss someone.

 

It is common behavior for parents to think they mean well by instructing their children to kiss or hug a relative or a friend without considering whether their children are comfortable with doing it. This may send the dangerous message that consent can be disregarded.

 

Ask your children if they want to touch and respect their decision. As a result, they will know at an early age that consent matters.

 

Teach your sons about gender equality.

 

When children help around the house, avoid allocating chores on the basis of gender. Boys and girls should help equally with doing the dishes, washing the car, watering the garden, hanging up the laundry, or whatever else needs to be done around the house. This will stop boys from seeing certain tasks as beneath them, or from seeing women as incapable.

 

Do not teach your children that boys hit them because they like them.

 

It is important to teach your children early that hitting someone to get their attention is never okay and it’s undeniably not the right way to show someone that you like them. Parents who use the phrase, “He’s behaving like that because he likes you” only support the idea that one needs to suffer for love and that it is okay to hurt others even when you love them.

 

Don’t sexualize your son’s friendships.

 

If your son happens to have a friend who is a girl, avoid instantly talking about a “girlfriend” or acting as if the friendship is somehow unusual. Encourage varied friendships as a healthy acknowledgment that we are all just people, and that we can like people without having to attach our interests to gender or sexual attraction.

How about declaring a truce on violence against women and children, and finally make it an everlasting one?

 

With 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence approaching themed “Count me in”, Men Against Rape echoes the theme and we want to be a voice that propels action. It would be remarkable if men, real men, can come out in numbers and cause a stir against the gender-based violence and the children abuse plight.

 

Imagine the level of freedom women and children would delight in if there was no rape, no child abuse. Sounds like a fantasy? Actually it is well within their rights to walk from place to place freely, without any fear of intimidation or anything like that.

 

This year South Africa will be taking part in the global campaign, which runs from 25 November until 10 December, for the 18th time. However, after all these years the question still remains, ‘When will the evil stops?’

 

Men Against Rape is greatly troubled by the alarming rate at which abuse against women and children keeps on intensifying and with an aim to get men actively involved in breaking the silence, the organisation has a number of in-house campaigns scheduled for all the 16 Days.

 

Let’s become a voice that drives action!

Picture yourself walking your dog or just relishing in a pre-sunset lazy walk when arms suddenly clamp around your waist, sending a shiver to your whole body?

 

Do you know what you would do?

 

It is a disheartening but true fact that a lot of women feel terrified when walking the streets alone at night, or worse, during the day. Nowadays, women are forced to walk around gripping their belongings while fearing for their lives at the same time.

 

In the distressing moment that you find yourself confronted by someone who might cause you harm, knowing how to defend yourself might radically save your life and you may afford you ample time to get away to safety.

 

Learning self-defense is a wise move for women of all ages as women trained in self-defense find themselves more confident in their ability to confront undesirable attention.

 

In this imperfect age where watching your back at all times is becoming a norm, self-defense is a must for every person, especially women who usually fall target of culprits. Self-defense for women is one of those skills all women should have in order for them to feel empowered, alert and well-informed.

 

There is somewhat a number of dynamics involved when attempting to defend yourself, which in most cases involves unarmed physical self-defense.  The most important part which can be challenging is that this type of defense requires someone to know exactly how to react and stand their ground and instinct alone may not be enough to succor a victim get away unharmed.

 

For this reason,  Men Against Rape, together with Eskilz College is offering 30 ladies and girls in the Johannesburg area an opportunity to get trained and acquire skills to defend themselves if they find themselves cornered by invaders aiming to harm them. The free one hour self-defense course will be presented on the 9th of November from 10:00 till 11:00.

 

Interested? Please contact Rufaro on pa2ops@timmalholdings.co.za alternatively phone her on 010 030 0080