MAKE A DIFFERENCE – MAKE A STAND
November 2019
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Counselling

 

It’s hard to know what to do, how to feel, or what your options are after a sexual assault. Please know that you’re not alone.

 

Here are three tips about what to do if you or anyone you know has been raped:

  1. Find a safe environment, away from the attacker. Ask a trusted friend to stay with you.
  2. Remember that what happened was NOT your fault.
  3. Ask the hospital to conduct a rape kit exam to preserve forensic evidence.

 

You may not have safety had control over the situation but you have control over what you can do thereafter.

 

Your rape does not define you.

 

You are a beautiful individual and being a victim of rape does not make you any less beautiful.

 

Do not question your life choices, you were and are not at fault. Being a rape victim was not because of the clothes you were wearing, it was not because of the underwear you were wearing that made your confidence level rise. It was not because you decided to go out and have a good eveing.

 

Rape is an act that should not be tolerated.

 

At Men Against Rape we stand up against sexual assaults, we are against these individuals being a part of society and are determined to lower the rape statistics on South Africa and the world alike.

 

 

At 15-years old, I was a victim to rape.

 

 

I remember my boyfriend took my hand and led me upstairs to his room.  I sat down on his bed. I told him I felt sick. He told me to just relax and starting kissing me. I asked him for some water. He just laughed and climbed on top of me. Starting to unbutton my pants.  The room starting spinning. I tried to roll off the bed. He placed his hands on my shoulders and pinned me down. He said this is what people who love each other do.  I told him I was going to throw up. He stuck his hand over my mouth and told me to just relax. I started to shove him. He grabbed me by my hair and pushed me down onto the bed. That’s the last thing I remember. When I came back to, I remember him on top of me. I just lay there still and cried. Finally, I turned my head and started throwing up all over his floor. After throwing up, I came to, and I was alone in his basement.  My face was mushed against a black garbage can that I had been throwing up into. My makeup was running down my face and there was vomit in my hair.

 

This is my first memory of hating myself. There I was, alone in a basement; him nowhere to be found.

 

Read the full story: https://www.scarymommy.com/why-i-share-rape-story/

 

Sometimes it’s those closest to us that hurt us the most. Remember that you are not alone in this, there are people that can help you. There are people that want to help you. Your life is important. Your life matters.

 

The Jes Foord Foundation offers free trauma counselling to survivors of rape, molestation and sexual assault, as well as for family and loved ones aected by the trauma. Contact Number: 0861 333 449.