No means No
If you do not feel comfortable in a situation and there is a sexual advance being made it is rape and you have the right to speak up!
We were alone in the house. He started off being nice, but at one point he went out and when he came back he had condoms. I was in shock – I had no idea this would happen. He then told me to get undressed and I said “what for?” I felt completely powerless and scared. He was older and bigger than me and very assertive and dominating; he made me feel compelled to do what he said. I was worried that if I refused he might get aggressive and he could turn nasty. I really didn’t want to find out what would’ve happened if I didn’t do as he said. I felt completely taken advantage of.
What happened to me too a toll on my confidence levels. The only person I could talk to about these experiences was my NSPCC counselor. He was so understanding and supportive. He talked it through with me and helped me work through the shock of what happened. We talked about how I can feel less powerless and safer. We worked on boosting my self-esteem. I think without his help I would have so much less confidence in myself. I’m so glad I had the NSPCC to talk to.
For the Ambers full story, click below:
At Men Against Rape we assist in traumatic experiences through guidance. We stand against rape and believe that we can make a difference in the South African community.
We ask you to stand up and voice your opinions and stories. Men Against Rape is here to listen and help.
Contact us today and make a difference. Remember that you are not a victim but a victor.
I am not a victim, I am a victor.
The end of a busy work day was the start of an unforgettable night.
My colleagues and I were picked up by an unknown car carrying 3 men that gave off a strange atmosphere.
The driver took us off road. I started panicking and asked him where he was taking us, but instead of answering me the guy seated at the back with us took out a gun and pointed it straight at my head. He told us to shut up and behave or he’d blow us up. We were all so frightened.
We were taken to a nearby veld where the three men, all armed now, started assaulting us. They took our phones and all our belongings. One of them started to strip my uniform and forced me onto the ground.
He raped me right there with my colleagues helplessly watching.
One of the other guys, carrying what looked like a kitchen knife, came up to me and also tried to force himself on me – when I tried to resist he stabbed me in my thigh and forced my legs apart.
My friends watched in horror as all this was happening to me, but where still helpless.
The next thing I knew I was thrown back into the car. They drove off with me leaving my friends behind.
As the car sped off two of the guys continued assaulting me, beating me and calling me names. I prayed to God to take my life as I couldn’t take the pain anymore. It was then that the thugs threw me out of moving car on to the middle of the road.
As I lay there covered in my own blood all I could think was that this was the end to me. I couldn’t feel pain anymore – my whole body was numb. As I lay there I couldn’t wait for a car to hit me and finish me off.
But God had other plans for me.
I must have passed out because the next thing I knew I woke up in the hospital with friends and family by my bedside. To this day, four years later, no arrests have been made but I believe God will bring me justice one day.
I’m still trying to cope with what happened to me and I refuse to be called a victim of rape. I am a victor. I survived the worst experience any woman can and I am still alive to tell my story.
Women are not the victims of rape; they are the victors of a brutal life experience.
It was my 16th birthday.
My boyfriend came to stay with us for the weekend. When my parents went to sleep that evening I got us some cold drinks. After awhile I started feeling weird. Everything just happened from there. He started undressing me, and I just went along as if I had no resistance. The next morning my body hurt so bad.
Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant, and it turned out my boyfriend drugged me. I had an abortion because I hated him. Today I wish I could see my baby who would have been four months old by now.
When you are unable to give your consent toward a sexual act whether it is with your loved one or a complete stranger it is rape!
At Men Against Rape we do not stand for these actions . Taking advantage of another persons body to satisfy personal sexual desires is unacceptable and needs to be stopped!
Contact us today with your story or with a solution that can help assist females in similar situations.
Remember that: REAL MEN DO NOT RAPE!
Being raped was my burden to bear and no one else’s to know about.
My silence has cost me dearly.
When I was 15 I was violently raped by a stranger on a night out with friends. I was too young to understand the complexity of this kind of violence but old enough to know I should be deeply ashamed of it — and so I told no-one. The physical trauma I experienced has wreaked havoc on my body and left me with two chronic illnesses that will stay with me for life.
I’ve realised my inability to speak about the way male violence has affected me only contributes to the stigma that enforced my silence.
So I have decided, after a decade of keeping quiet, to tell my story in the hope that it will create space for others to do the same, and that we might finally stop shaming and blaming women for the sexual crimes perpetrated against them.
No matter the complexity of your situation, once you voice your experience we can assist you in the search for justice.
That was too long ago for me to remember…
My home was broken by abuse and tried to be relieved through suicide.
Courage was essential to move forward.
Meeting the man that caused so much of pain to my hero was one of the most difficult things to do.
Words hurt you know…
Strength was needed to move forward…
My hero left a bad situation for a worse one.
My step dad raped me when I was 10 years old.
Continuing every school day.
My hero didn’t believe me…
Persistence got me out when I was 13 years old and filed for a restraining order.
Was this nightmare finally over?
He came back…
He beat me
He raped me
He threatened me
Being alone was the worst…
Nine years till I finally got justice!
This is a story of a brave young girl that shows so much potential. Her past does not define her. Despite her difficulties and the challenges she faces daily, this is not her end.
She wants her story to inspire others to speak up and be heard.
Everything will get better in the end and if it is not better, then it is not the end.
We are here to stand up against these acts that torment young ladies.
We stand up against perpetrators to create a brighter future for those in society.
If you have a story, do not be afraid to share it.
We are here to help.
Use your voice, fight for justice.
There are a quite a few reasons why victims may not report their case.
Did you know that in on average there are 147 rape cases daily?
Imagine the number of rapes that occur if all women report their cases.
Here are a few reasons why rape victims do not report their cases:
Many women fear the retaliation or intimidation of the perpetrator.
Some women may even lack the access to services.
Many women feel personal humiliation of being exposed as a victim of rape in a community.
Rape has a psychological effect on the minds of its victims and may not allow them to fully comprehend the intensity of the occurrence.
Many victims may also feel ashamed of it because they feel that their partners and loved ones may perceive them in a different manner.
On various occasions the perpetrator is known to the victim and is a frequent member of their lives.
Some may even rely on the perpetrator as a financial foundation, this occurs in scenarios whereby the victim is a child or the family may reply on the perpetrator’s income to survive.
We need to stand together against the fear that women have. We need to stand together to get rape victims to express themselves.
Could you imagine being raped, take control over and having your rights stripped away from you by the same person you wake up to everyday?
Why are we allowing the women of our country to go through this?
Let’s stand up and make a difference in society.
He was abusive..
He was an alcoholic..
He was aggressive..
Yes this is all past tense but the fact that stands is that he is my father.
Being a rape victim and being a witness both leave a mental scar in your mind.
We were afraid to sleep alone so we sleep in the same bed to feel protected from the pain that lurked in the next room. He had no shame.
Late hours of the night, the door creaked. A figure appeared, it was him.
Leave my mother alone was the only sentence to go through my mind.
Why didn’t I say something?
He stumbled across to her side of the bed, drunk of course for that was all he knew.
He climbed on top of her, I felt the bed slanting. I turned to attempt in making him acknowledge my presence but still he did not care.
He went on to do his deed with his hand over her mouth while she attempted to scream, letting out a slight stop here and there in attempt not to wake me.
Once he had completed his deed and resided back to the room he was sleeping in. Her frustration and pain let out, slight whimpers still in attempt not to wake me. She cried the night away till she eventually became too exhausted to allow her body to continue.
Did you hear her screams?
Did you hear her cries?
Did you feel the pain you caused her?
Rape is rape even if you are a couple, if your partner does not give you consent to go about your sexual act it is rape!
If you have a story to tell, even as a witness we are here to listen.
Feel free to contact us with your stories.
We are here to help.
We only met by chance because of a mutual friend who I have been friends with since high school.
I left the bathroom to go back into the bedroom to throw on my jammies and noticed under my covers a human sized figured. Instantly I ran for the towel in my bathroom and nervously stuttered a “hello”. You popped your head out and I yelped, quickly telling you our friend would not be happy that you came back, that I was tired and ready for bed.
I told you that you needed to leave, but you refused saying that “we weren’t doing anything”. You thought you were being cheeky and cute, but your refusal was terrifying and absolute. I didn’t want to overreact or make you angry- remember you were still just a strangers and we had only met just hours before.
“no, please stop”
You pulled by its legs and edged it closer to the bottom of the bed slowly forcing a subtle arch to its back, your hand firmly pushed into its lower back. Again, you penetrated what remained. Again, the body voice pleaded “please stop”.
Was it not clear to you that you had taken what I had not offered? That my consent and body was not given to you?
That body is my own. It was never yours to take.
Read the full story below:
When an individual is sexually violated and stripped of their rights they feel helpless and incapable of being able to call their body their own because of the way it was used and mistreated.
When individuals reach out and voice their pain they are able to gain closure.
If you are seeking closure through your freedom of expression we are here to listen.
Please send us a message and let us assist in standing together to gain closure over what has occurred.
We are here to help.
Do you know what classifies a sexual act as rape?
Here are 3 things you may not have known are classified as rape:
- If You Ask Your Partner To Switch Positions And They Refuse
Yes you may have consented to the initial act although when a position becomes painful and unpleasant, when you ask to switch positions and they refuse. It is rape!
It’s never OK for someone to do something to your body after you’ve asked them not to.
- If You Tell Your Partner They’re Hurting You, But They Ignore You And Keep Going
Communication is an essential part of a relationship especially in the bedroom. If you tell your sexual partner that they are hurting you and they ignore your statement, it is rape!
Once you’ve expressed discomfort and disinterest in continuing, then it’s time to stop, and your partner should comply with that.
- If Someone Tries To Have Sex With You When You’re Incapable Of Giving Consent
If someone tries to have sex with you when you’re too drunk, high, or unconscious to agree to it, then it’s not your fault. It is rape! Not being capable of saying “no” is not the same thing as saying “yes.” Period!
Any sexual activity in which one party doesn’t give their full consent to begin with, wishes to withdraw their consent after giving it, or is incapable of giving consent in the first place, is rape!
Rape is not something to take lightly, it is a criminal offence!
He came storming through the door and his fist went flying at my face.
“I’m sorry, please forgive me,” are the words that are on repeat in a victims head. These words make you go on an emotional rollercoaster.
He punched me in the face, pushed me to the floor and got on top of me.
Then he placed a hand over my mouth. “We’re doing it anyway,” he spat.
I tried to scratch at his back to get him off me, but he just punched me and ripped my shorts and bra apart.
I was scared so I said I’d give him another chance.
I woke up to find him on top of me, holding me down.
He had one hand held tightly around my neck and the other pulling my pants down.
He raped me again.
Rape is a criminal offence and should not be tolerated!
Read the full story:
It’s never okay for your anyone to control you or hit you. And it’s never okay for them to rape you.
Be strong and get help.
Don’t suffer like so many others have.
You have a voice and you can make a difference in your life and many other lives.
If you, or someone you know, is suffering from domestic violence call | National counselling line: 0861-322-322 for help and guidance.
You are not alone.