MAKE A DIFFERENCE – MAKE A STAND
November 2019
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Real Men Don’t Rape

Mother of convicted Dros rapist Nicholas Ninow, has recently claimed to accept partial responsibility for her son’s actions because of the dysfunctional home environment which she perpetuated.

 

According to news reports, Chantelle Ninow also said that she regretted not helping her son overcome his debilitating drug addiction.

 

A number of  mothers of men convicted with the same crime may not have publicly voiced out their ‘involvement’ or lamented the devastating consequences rape accusations or convictions  have had on their sons’ lives, but we believe that it is every mother’s responsibility to teach their sons about the consequences of rape or any other crime for that matter.

 

We have put together a few tips on how you can help your son grow up with a ‘no to rape mentality’.

 

Do not force your son to hug or kiss someone.

 

It is common behavior for parents to think they mean well by instructing their children to kiss or hug a relative or a friend without considering whether their children are comfortable with doing it. This may send the dangerous message that consent can be disregarded.

 

Ask your children if they want to touch and respect their decision. As a result, they will know at an early age that consent matters.

 

Teach your sons about gender equality.

 

When children help around the house, avoid allocating chores on the basis of gender. Boys and girls should help equally with doing the dishes, washing the car, watering the garden, hanging up the laundry, or whatever else needs to be done around the house. This will stop boys from seeing certain tasks as beneath them, or from seeing women as incapable.

 

Do not teach your children that boys hit them because they like them.

 

It is important to teach your children early that hitting someone to get their attention is never okay and it’s undeniably not the right way to show someone that you like them. Parents who use the phrase, “He’s behaving like that because he likes you” only support the idea that one needs to suffer for love and that it is okay to hurt others even when you love them.

 

Don’t sexualize your son’s friendships.

 

If your son happens to have a friend who is a girl, avoid instantly talking about a “girlfriend” or acting as if the friendship is somehow unusual. Encourage varied friendships as a healthy acknowledgment that we are all just people, and that we can like people without having to attach our interests to gender or sexual attraction.

Wouldn’t it be amazing, if for 16 days, there was no rape, no child abuse, and no case of a beaten-up woman, no woman killed and stashed somewhere like garbage?

Join Men Against Rape in re-declaring a truce on no violence against women and children and making it a permanent one.

We strongly believe that men are critical partners in the fight against abuse of women and children. Men Against Rape encourages men and boys to be vocal about abuse.

Calls have been made for rapists to stop the act, campaigns have been held with the hope that men who commit rape can change their ways but the social ill rate keeps escalating.

When will it end? Read the poem below by Skinny_Cow to have an idea of how rape victims are affected by the injustice.

My Virginity

I think back to when it happened,
think back to that awful day.
The day when it all happened,
the day he took “it” away.

Fighting. Yelling. Crying.
It didn’t matter how loud I screamed.
Nobody came to help me.
Nobody came to set me free.

I still dream of running,
of trying to break away.
Of feeling him catch me,
every damn day.

I see him in the shadows,
even while I’m at home.
I close my eyes and pray he’s gone,
only then I can’t help but feel him.

To this day I feel him,
his tight grip on my wrists,
The pressure of his body
as I tried to resist.

He continued to thrust away,
as I fought and yelled and cried.
It didn’t matter how loud I screamed,
Nobody came to help me.
Nobody came to set me free.

https://www.menagainstrape.co.za/buy-a-t-shirt/ 

https://www.menagainstrape.co.za/online-pledge-forms/pledge-form-for-the-march/ 

Picture yourself walking your dog or just relishing in a pre-sunset lazy walk when arms suddenly clamp around your waist, sending a shiver to your whole body?

 

Do you know what you would do?

 

It is a disheartening but true fact that a lot of women feel terrified when walking the streets alone at night, or worse, during the day. Nowadays, women are forced to walk around gripping their belongings while fearing for their lives at the same time.

 

In the distressing moment that you find yourself confronted by someone who might cause you harm, knowing how to defend yourself might radically save your life and you may afford you ample time to get away to safety.

 

Learning self-defense is a wise move for women of all ages as women trained in self-defense find themselves more confident in their ability to confront undesirable attention.

 

In this imperfect age where watching your back at all times is becoming a norm, self-defense is a must for every person, especially women who usually fall target of culprits. Self-defense for women is one of those skills all women should have in order for them to feel empowered, alert and well-informed.

 

There is somewhat a number of dynamics involved when attempting to defend yourself, which in most cases involves unarmed physical self-defense.  The most important part which can be challenging is that this type of defense requires someone to know exactly how to react and stand their ground and instinct alone may not be enough to succor a victim get away unharmed.

 

For this reason,  Men Against Rape, together with Eskilz College is offering 30 ladies and girls in the Johannesburg area an opportunity to get trained and acquire skills to defend themselves if they find themselves cornered by invaders aiming to harm them. The free one hour self-defense course will be presented on the 9th of November from 10:00 till 11:00.

 

Interested? Please contact Rufaro on pa2ops@timmalholdings.co.za alternatively phone her on 010 030 0080

 

Rape is a traumatic experience that often results in embarrassment and left with a self-judgmental feeling. This experience leaves a victim feeling impure and dirty. Their body does not feel like it is their own.

 

Rape is an inexcusable act that needs to be stopped. As a group we need to stand together and be the voice of reason. Use the weapon that was not stripped from you. Stand up and make a difference, rape victims know how the experience feels. We need to stand together to ensure that no one else has to endure that pain.

 

It’s hard to know what to do, how to feel, or what your options are after a sexual assault. Please know that you’re not alone.

 

Here are three tips about what to do if you or anyone you know has been raped:

  1. Find a safe environment, away from the attacker. Ask a trusted friend to stay with you.
  2. Remember that what happened was NOT your fault.
  3. Ask the hospital to conduct a rape kit exam to preserve forensic evidence.

 

You may not have safety had control over the situation but you have control over what you can do thereafter.

 

Your rape does not define you.

 

You are a beautiful individual and being a victim of rape does not make you any less beautiful.

 

Do not question your life choices, you were and are not at fault. Being a rape victim was not because of the clothes you were wearing, it was not because of the underwear you were wearing that made your confidence level rise. It was not because you decided to go out and have a good eveing.

 

Rape is an act that should not be tolerated.

 

At Men Against Rape we stand up against sexual assaults, we are against these individuals being a part of society and are determined to lower the rape statistics on South Africa and the world alike.

 

 

 

“He was next to me and I have no idea because I was so out cold,” she says. “This person, who I’m supposed to trust, would drug me and make me be so out cold that I couldn’t respond if something was wrong with my children.”

 

She was reviewing files on his hard drive and made a shocking discovery: four videos he filmed raping her while she lay unconscious. In one video, the camera zooms in on her face and lying next to her in the bed is her young son.

 

Womens’ rights groups campaigned state-by-state for lawmakers to change their laws, and by 1993, marital rape was technically illegal in all 50 states. But, there’s these little loopholes and sub-statutes that hide deep in the books that pop out every once and awhile.

 

We need to stand up together against all forms of rape, whether it be marital rape or date rape, rape is rape and should not be accepted.

 

At Men Against Rape we stand up against these injustices of life and attempt to rectify these actions of abuse.

 

Stand up with us and make a difference.

 

 

 

It’s hard to know what to do, how to feel, or what your options are after a sexual assault. Please know that you’re not alone.

 

Here are three tips about what to do if you or anyone you know has been raped:

  1. Find a safe environment, away from the attacker. Ask a trusted friend to stay with you.
  2. Remember that what happened was NOT your fault.
  3. Ask the hospital to conduct a rape kit exam to preserve forensic evidence.

 

You may not have safety had control over the situation but you have control over what you can do thereafter.

 

Your rape does not define you.

 

You are a beautiful individual and being a victim of rape does not make you any less beautiful.

 

Do not question your life choices, you were and are not at fault. Being a rape victim was not because of the clothes you were wearing, it was not because of the underwear you were wearing that made your confidence level rise. It was not because you decided to go out and have a good eveing.

 

Rape is an act that should not be tolerated.

 

At Men Against Rape we stand up against sexual assaults, we are against these individuals being a part of society and are determined to lower the rape statistics on South Africa and the world alike.

 

 

1, 716 hours of rape before I reached the age of 12 years.

 

 

The betrayal of being sold by my parents

 

I was sold into a murderous pedophile network right around my 6th birthday.

 

Adult men were part of this exclusive network.

 

The children were the commodity; they were mostly used for sex.

 

A number of the members from this network found pleasure in killing children.

 

Watch the full rape story below:

https://youtu.be/tR6rMRo1d_8

 

We want to create a society where children will be safe, where children will have a community behind them.

 

Every child deserves safety.

 

At Men Against Rape we stand up against these injustices that are portrayed by individuals of a undesirable nature.

If you or anyone you know has undergone social injustices, contact us today.

 

We are here to help and prevent future attacks.

If you do not feel comfortable in a situation and there is a sexual advance being made it is rape and you have the right to speak up!

 

 

We were alone in the house. He started off being nice, but at one point he went out and when he came back he had condoms. I was in shock – I had no idea this would happen. He then told me to get undressed and I said “what for?” I felt completely powerless and scared. He was older and bigger than me and very assertive and dominating; he made me feel compelled to do what he said. I was worried that if I refused he might get aggressive and he could turn nasty. I really didn’t want to find out what would’ve happened if I didn’t do as he said. I felt completely taken advantage of.

 

What happened to me too a toll on my confidence levels. The only person I could talk to about these experiences was my NSPCC counselor. He was so understanding and supportive. He talked it through with me and helped me work through the shock of what happened. We talked about how I can feel less powerless and safer. We worked on boosting my self-esteem. I think without his help I would have so much less confidence in myself. I’m so glad I had the NSPCC to talk to.

 

For the Ambers full story, click below:

https://www.disrespectnobody.co.uk/real-stories/ambers-story/

 

At Men Against Rape we assist in traumatic experiences through guidance. We stand against rape and believe that we can make a difference in the South African community.

 

We ask you to stand up and voice your opinions and stories. Men Against Rape is here to listen and help.

 

Contact us today and make a difference. Remember that you are not a victim but a victor.

 

I am not a victim, I am a victor.

 

 

 

 

The end of a busy work day was the start of an unforgettable night.

 

My colleagues and I were picked up by an unknown car carrying 3 men that gave off a strange atmosphere.

 

The driver took us off road. I started panicking and asked him where he was taking us, but instead of answering me the guy seated at the back with us took out a gun and pointed it straight at my head. He told us to shut up and behave or he’d blow us up. We were all so frightened.

 

We were taken to a nearby veld where the three men, all armed now, started assaulting us. They took our phones and all our belongings. One of them started to strip my uniform and forced me onto the ground.

 

He raped me right there with my colleagues helplessly watching.

 

One of the other guys, carrying what looked like a kitchen knife, came up to me and also tried to force himself on me – when I tried to resist he stabbed me in my thigh and forced my legs apart.

 

My friends watched in horror as all this was happening to me, but where still helpless.

 

The next thing I knew I was thrown back into the car. They drove off with me leaving my friends behind.

 

As the car sped off two of the guys continued assaulting me, beating me and calling me names. I prayed to God to take my life as I couldn’t take the pain anymore. It was then that the thugs threw me out of moving car on to the middle of the road.

 

As I lay there covered in my own blood all I could think was that this was the end to me. I couldn’t feel pain anymore – my whole body was numb. As I lay there I couldn’t wait for a car to hit me and finish me off.

 

But God had other plans for me.

 

I must have passed out because the next thing I knew I woke up in the hospital with friends and family by my bedside. To this day, four years later, no arrests have been made but I believe God will bring me justice one day.

 

I’m still trying to cope with what happened to me and I refuse to be called a victim of rape.  I am a victor. I survived the worst experience any woman can and I am still alive to tell my story.

 

Women are not the victims of rape; they are the victors of a brutal life experience.

 

 

It was my 16th birthday.

 

 

My boyfriend came to stay with us for the weekend. When my parents went to sleep that evening I got us some cold drinks. After awhile I started feeling weird. Everything just happened from there. He started undressing me, and I just went along as if I had no resistance. The next morning my body hurt so bad.

 

Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant, and it turned out my boyfriend drugged me. I had an abortion because I hated him. Today I wish I could see my baby who would have been four months old by now.

 

When you are unable to give your consent toward a sexual act whether it is with your loved one or a complete stranger it is rape!

 

At Men Against Rape we do not stand for these actions . Taking advantage of another persons body to satisfy personal sexual desires is unacceptable and needs to be stopped!

 

Contact us today with your story or with a solution that can help assist females in similar situations.

 

Remember that: REAL MEN DO NOT RAPE!