Mother of convicted Dros rapist Nicholas Ninow, has recently claimed to accept partial responsibility for her son’s actions because of the dysfunctional home environment which she perpetuated.
According to news reports, Chantelle Ninow also said that she regretted not helping her son overcome his debilitating drug addiction.
A number of mothers of men convicted with the same crime may not have publicly voiced out their ‘involvement’ or lamented the devastating consequences rape accusations or convictions have had on their sons’ lives, but we believe that it is every mother’s responsibility to teach their sons about the consequences of rape or any other crime for that matter.
We have put together a few tips on how you can help your son grow up with a ‘no to rape mentality’.
Do not force your son to hug or kiss someone.
It is common behavior for parents to think they mean well by instructing their children to kiss or hug a relative or a friend without considering whether their children are comfortable with doing it. This may send the dangerous message that consent can be disregarded.
Ask your children if they want to touch and respect their decision. As a result, they will know at an early age that consent matters.
Teach your sons about gender equality.
When children help around the house, avoid allocating chores on the basis of gender. Boys and girls should help equally with doing the dishes, washing the car, watering the garden, hanging up the laundry, or whatever else needs to be done around the house. This will stop boys from seeing certain tasks as beneath them, or from seeing women as incapable.
Do not teach your children that boys hit them because they like them.
It is important to teach your children early that hitting someone to get their attention is never okay and it’s undeniably not the right way to show someone that you like them. Parents who use the phrase, “He’s behaving like that because he likes you” only support the idea that one needs to suffer for love and that it is okay to hurt others even when you love them.
Don’t sexualize your son’s friendships.
If your son happens to have a friend who is a girl, avoid instantly talking about a “girlfriend” or acting as if the friendship is somehow unusual. Encourage varied friendships as a healthy acknowledgment that we are all just people, and that we can like people without having to attach our interests to gender or sexual attraction.